Welcome, welcome, welcome to the new and improved official Playoffs? Are You Kidding Me blog where I systematically tear down and ultimately ruin each of your lives 1 post at a time. That’s right I took advantage of the offseason to revamp the blog in the hopes that I can make each readers’ inner clock tick a little faster towards 0:00 and when you finally go “call center”. I’ll be the guy doing this…
Like any good fan I take the NFL and fantasy football a little too seriously no doubt, but then again what else should I be focusing on: a job, personal hygiene, my future…for sure not. Hopefully you all feel the same and have decided to associate with the rest of the degenerates that make up this league. So basically each week I’ll be posting a recap of the living, breathing disasters that yous guys call your fantasy teams as you stumble your way to another disappointing season furthering your alcoholism and sapping the little joy you had left.
Just as we did last season the individual that stands alone as league champion will have the honor and privilege of hoisting The Stiffy trophy signifying themselves and their team as the seasons greatest fantasy team in all the land. Additionally, this season we will also be giving out the equally prestigious trophy, The Teary, to the individual who stands even more alone as they lead their team on a 1 way ticket straight to last place and are subjected to 8 months of the most deplorable ridicule, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Bartman screwed the Cubbies outta the World Series. And yes both of these awards are happening and will be given to the people that earn them; I don’t care how much you cry about it or if you live in fucking Afghanistan, even the Taliban gets mail and you already signed the consent form anyways. Hopefully you’re pumped for the new season and just like the NBA big things are coming (I’m talking about the football season, not the Stiffy you miserable whores).
Good luck to you all, let this be another great season, try not to disappoint the football gods the way you did your parents, go Eagles, and may fantasy football immortality be yours!